The feminine condition ou la condition féminine

I find sometimes there's so much high expectations on the behalf of men towards women. The perfect woman. Like I posted recently: the real (or perfect) woman is what the hell she wants to be. I have these words in my head: Say's who? In Kabbalah it is said that we are living in a feminine time. And introspective time, inward time, soul time. It is hard as a woman to feel confident in a world after all, run by men mostly. But more and more women every day achieves it. Women are challenged in their femininity, in their sexuality, in their emotions, in their intelligence by men. They want to dictate how they should live, how they should dress. It's nice to feel protected but it's not nice to feel controlled. The only thing I know is that I'm looking for something calm. I don't want to break my head anymore. I just want to live peacefully and chill and enjoy every day of the life that God gave me. I want quiet and good vibes only. I have one life to live no more no less. And who can be the judge of my life except God. I tried to follow by heart. And if I love sex it's because it's good, I'm a giver and it is the ultimate intimacy. 2 bodies can't be closer. And making love is the best thing in the world. 2 souls touching each other. The ultimate connection between two different persons. When you have that it's difficult to let go. To trust. To trust oneself as a woman and to trust another person and to relaxe because it's all good. I tell myself that when you receive a gift from God all you can say is thank you. Blessed be he. Barush hashem. Because that's all there is to say. HDM.

Faith

My next objective is to stay in the present moment and to go with the flow. Sometimes I'm too impatient. I lose touch with what's going on now at this very moment. Staying in the now, from now to now, is easier said than done. It takes trust, the power of letting go to be able to take deep breath and to calm myself down. Just breath baby just breath. In kabbalah they say that the sound of a person breathing is the same as the letter in the tetragramme so when a person breaths shes at the same time praying. Time has changed. I can feel it. Times are getting better. Or is it because I'm getting better. I'm less stressed. I'm calm. I'm able to stay still. It's an internal feeling. I do my things. I'm more confident. It seems like the tougher years had passed. And I kept true to myself. I followed my soul. Soul searcher, dream warrior. What I use to call: la quête de l'absolu. To enjoy the present, to stay in it and to remain focus and calm are my new objectives. Of course I listen and I continue to learn. A little more everyday. A new photoshoot is coming up. Different this time. New styles are coming up if everything goes well by monday should be on the website under new. I'm beginning to receive great feedbacks on my t-shirts I'm quite pleased. Let's push it and meanwhile stay in the moment. From this moment to that moment, from now to now. 

One step further

The question of the immature adult. I was an immature adult for a while. Didn't want to grow up and live like a grown up. Even when I was a kid I didn't want to be an adult.The world of the adults didn't interest me. I love the first lines of the Wings of desire by Wim Wenders when the narrator says: quand l'enfant était enfant il n'avait pas d'habitude, il s'asseyait par terrepuis partait en courant. I believed in magic also. I always felt different maybe since I am 6 years old. I am a mix: palestinian from my maternal grand-father of Haifa, where my mother was born in 1945 and jewish from my maternal grand mother who was from Bratislava Slovakia. And french Canadian but Scottish descendant from my father side. And born in Paris. So i thought I was all those contraries Marie and Pierre feminine masculine Marie Pierre Warren so french and english and palestinian and jewish. Of of all those layers of opposites. I am a total mix. I grew up with electronic music, Kraftwerk. I remember having it on my walkman, going down the hills at Mont Saint-Anne. Music guided my life. I was attracted to the people who were listening to same kind of music as me. I followed my nature. Couldn't do otherwise. I loved dancing. I spent my years from 20 to 30 dancing. We use to dance. Like really dance with all our heart and soul and body. Making love to the sounds. Those were the good times. The vibes were strong you could feel them in the air. I loved Sona. Nothing replaced it. Playground of course. And the first Stereo. We were kicking ass. I was thinking of Thau yesterday on the dance floor so I dedicated my dance to him, Because he use to dance like a tiger on the dance floor. Once he came to me and said: you're naughty by nature.
I was feeling his spirit. The hard core crew. 514. The Cox Di Salvio. Every night had a place. Wild times crazy times intense times special times. And I was wild. I wasn't scared of anything. I will never forget that time the people I met from far or from close. There part of a time that will never come back. I feel lucky to have lived it while I could. But at one point it had to end. But it stays in me. It's part of who I am. The love of music dance good vibes will never live me.