Thank you Christopher Morrison :)

First pictures of the Second photoshoot...Cant wait to see the final result :)

To every start there's a beginning of to every beginning there's a start

In Kabbalah (please understand that what I convey here my own understanding of Kabbalah) the little is a replica of the big or vice and versa. For example, man is made in the image of God. All the different levels have 4 worlds. Like our world has 4 worlds, the world of man, animal, vegetation and inanimate. All worlds very different from one another but nonetheless living with each other in harmony (If you don't include man's destruction of the nature). Also, it is said that God put in our world, our universe everything already, Like the waves of the web. Everything is ours to discover. I find that the web is another dimension. Virtual where communications of ideas exist without the physical approach, sex, age, status don't exist on the web per se. I like it. Makes it much more easier for me. Incognito, anonymity. But not only that. It's a quick world who knows no time, no distance and which gives the possibility to be connected to anyone anywhere. It's a world of exchange. I personally adore it. Kabbalah says that God created the world for mankind, the world exist for us. And this is why it is made that way. In Kabbalah, it is said also that made has total freedom of choices. We have a destiny written in the sky but we can change that at every moment of our life. Nothing is certain. Although old habits are hard to change it is possible to change them. Hard but not impossible. It is even possible to change our physical appearance (I'm not talking plastic surgery here or else). All the to say, God made the world for us to enjoy respecfully. The world is our playground wanna have fun?
First production done. Quite happy. Now I have to ship everything. I just hope they gonna like their t-shirt enough to wear them, a lot :). 

Time to step up

When I think of it, my attraction for assholes, is based on sexual attraction. I'm wondering if you have to be an asshole to fuck well because you're just enough disrespectful to be exciting. Than again I guess not. I know as a fact that I don't have to be a bitch. Also assholes are normally charming, good looking and intelligent. Like we say in French: qui est pris qui croyait prendre. But than again I'm getting really tired. I have to move forward. It's not a choice anymore it's a necessity. Because where I'm going there's no place for those. It was a comfort zone. At least with them I knew for sure what to expect. I'm not a fool. Maybe I'm afraid of a true relationship. That way it was convenient with the kids and all. It gave me a certain form of freedom. But then again, freedom I have anyway. They mix their reality with the reality. They don't see the variance, the subtile difference that this doesn't equal this. I don,t know if I could play poker well. I'm so used to play with my cards opened. I hide no joker, no surprise. So I guess the month of august will be about getting out of my comfort zone. Old habits are hard to change. But I'm getting way to old for that nonsense. I have no patience and no envy. Time to step up. 

News

The hardest thing for me is to believe in me. I have period of doubts. What am I doing ? Am i doing the right thing, What if am totally off the point, what if it fails ? Am I completely delusional, but than again who said this was right and this is wrong, I do it from a good intention, I'm trying and let's see what happened. There's no good and bad when it comes to expressing oneself. We can choose whatever ways. It's all good. I hope that my message gets through. I hope I'll find a niche. A little territory of my own. First production for promotion this week. I'm financing. I'm thinking I'm asking them to represent me now. Let's see what happened. Let's see if they gonna like the look. I hope the printed result will be perfect. I have to choose the right vinyl also. Onwards and upwards like Josh Silver said. May God hear his good words. Promotion, marketing are not my forte because it's easier to dream than to act. Although I was a very good salesperson when I worked for Cartier and Vuitton. But I guess it's easier to sell somebody else's product especially when there well known entreprise then to sell your own and to risk rejection. But like we say in French: Qui ne risque rien n'a rien. New photoshoot also on sunday in studio this time with Sano, Chloé and Tarek. 2 of the same girls and one new guy, all friends of my 16 years old daughter. That's about it. Getting closer to 500: 497. 

In the beginning there's was jack

In the beginning we don't know who's in front of us, the other entity, the other human being. We hear what the person says about himself, about you. But who knows maybe they are only sounds nice to the ear. In the beginning we can't know. We don't know who's in front of us. 
So in the beginning there was trust. Trust comes before love. Love takes time, because you have to be able to love the other as the other and not as a projection of yourself, before really being in love. Love is about the long term. Day after, day after day. Love is the greatest experience of all. But most of the people I know it seems doesn't want to live it anymore. My 16 years old daughter told me that love is a waste of time...Trust is the first real openness to the other. The first step deeper. The first vulnerability. Trust is the first covenant. There's no relation without a deep sense of trust. After that, all we can do is wait and see.
It's about trust
It's about faith
It's about love

Anecdote

At 10 years old, I was taken in the streets from the streets by a 40 years old man for a whole afternoon. He molested me, it was my first cunnilingus, for those who know what it means, but didn't rape me. After he took me almost back (yes I know weird, but thank God he did) and I made it alive, he asked me to kiss him and not to tell anyone. I ran home and asked God to forgive him because I thought that Jesus suffered more on the cross than me. Say What ?
Didn't know I was Jewish at the time. Went to College Jesus-Marie de Sillery a good only girls private school of Quebec. I spent 11 years there. I found out I was Jewish at 36 years old. Found out or made sense at the death of my jewish maternal grand-mother. My maternal grand-father was Palestinian from Haifa. Explosive mix. 
So I have jewish palestinian, From Bratislava and Haifa, feminine masculine, Marie and Pierre, french and english, Marie and Warren, being French but from Scottish ancestors, all sorts of opposites in my blood. It doesn't mean anything just funny. In Kabbalah exists the freedom of choices in everything. It's at the base of the creation of man. We are the master of our destiny. We decide. That's part of why God had to conceal itself to give man total freedom of choices. It is said also that the world began with the will of God for the world. And will is not part of anything, it exists by itself. I was always a strong person. Even at the small age of 10. I wonder sometimes if my voice didn't get stuck at that age. I have a little girl voice. How much was the impact of that event in my life. Did it affect my choice of men...will never know. Why did it happened? I don't know. I was always pretty wise alert and observer. What I know is that from that point I didn't want to be an adult. I prayed to be a boy for a year not to have breasts and menstruation. Didn't work. I thought the boys were so much cooler than the winy girls. Did it affect my sexuality, I don't know. I took sexuality from the beginning very naturally. My first lover wasn't my boyfriend. He said that my first time would be at level zero, after that it would either better or worse. He also use to say that the catholic church was the only multinational who had a corpse as a logo. Always loved that one. I remember it till that day.  In my twenties I use to say: I live like a whore without a sidewalk not that I was identifying with the whore but with the image. I was a rebel at heart. Wild and free. A bulldozer, a soul searcher, a dream warrior. I did it by being guided by the music I liked. I associated with people who liked the same music as me. Always electro, cold wave and than electro, acid house, house and today mainly deep house. So that's about it. Now is today. I have two girls, I'm happily divorced. And I want to kick ass. 
So spread the vibe, Represent peace and love always

To do what's right

To do what's right and not what's easy is often the hardest thing of all. Sometimes something good can be bad and vice versa. I just left something really good. It was a hard thing to do. I left it before it went bad because it would have ended bad. I couldn't ask from a young man not to sleep around and I couldn't be with a guy who's most likely to sleep around because that's what you do at that age. I had to set him free to do his things, live his life makes his mistakes, learn from experiences. I gonna miss him. I loved him maybe. Couldn't make myself love him to much. i didn't have the right to love him. So I did what was the right thing to do not the easiest. When you love someone you have to let him go sometimes. So now, what's next. Time will tell. I think now that my time is precious as I'm going older in age. I don't have time to lose. It's time to kick ass. David Penn liked my page. I'm ecstatic, speechless and honoured. He has 30000 followers on twitter and soundcloud, 55000 on FB. He's one of the biggest spanish DJ. Owner of Urbania Records and Urbania radio show. Starting with promotion through DJs from Montreal and all over the world. I have to put myself out there. Not easy for me. I'm quite a discreet person. It takes confidence to put yourself out of the shadow. I asked also Roger Sanchez. I know someone read my message but not feedback yet. I'm in love with his song Remember me. Love everything about it, lyrics, melody, video, voice. It could be my anthem. All that to say, one step at the time. From here to there, from now to now.

Remember Me

Like footprints in the sand
at the mercy of the waves out of our hands,
the ocean, its approaching,
the future's spoken,
so forever I will stand...

I was pushed into the shadows,
but I refused to hide away.
Now I'm rising,
new horizons,
just close you eyes, and
you'll see me again.

Please remember... me.
I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
please remember... me.
I wanna live forever,
live forever,
please remember,
please remember... me.

I hope you remember...

I hope you remember,
please remember,
please remember,
please remember,
please remember,
please remember... me.

An echo over time,
memories replaying in your mind,
never fading
through all we're facing,
I'm saying here,
I'll never leave your side.

I'm under no illusion,
but we can still pretend,
we know the secret,
if we keep it,
our time will never end.

I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
please remember... me.
I wanna live forever,
live forever,
please remember,
please remember... me.

I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
I hope you remember,
I wanna live forever,
live forever,
live forever,
please remember... me.

Taken from http://lyricstranslate.com/fr/roger-sanchez-remember-me-lyrics.html#ixzz3g0ipxpgr 

news

So I haven't written for a while. I was on vacation with my girls in Florida.It was amazing. We had a marvelous time. Made me want to do it more often. Funny how life goes. One thing leads to another. So I'm solo. Yaki is definitely out. For good this time. It's a relief. My youngest said It's time for Yaki to learn how to be alone. She's so wise. I tried. I did my best. But we can help only those who dont wanna be helped. Il faut être à la hauteur. People of exception are really rare. I wonder if it was always the case. I tried to be in line with what I say. Of course sometimes I make mistakes. I suppose it's normal even at my age. I always was an idealist. I always aimed for higher grounds. My head up in the sky. If they can't fly it's not my problem. I have no time to waste. If they can't follow there's nothing I can do. I do my things. For me the most important is to have no regrets because I did the right thing, I didn't hide anything or played some games. I did it from the heart. Because that's the only way I know to live. I always felt like a fallen angel kicked out of paradise trying to find its way home. Step by step, never losing faith. I'm an utopist. I believe in a better world. I believe that I can start to build it right now by the way I live. I believe that the good vibes feed the good vibes and the negative vibes feed the negatives vibes that we send to the universe. Because everything is energy. Positive or negative energy. I have no time to waste on negativity. I rather be alone. Like Jean-Paul Sartre, the french philosopher compagnon of Simone de Beauvoir, if you feel lonely when you're alone you're in bad company. 

Waiting to do my first production capital is the hardest thing at this point but I'm a very handy person.

July

The word for the month of July will be adventure and the honorary member will be Sir Richard Branson who is, in his own way, an activist and an idealist who ps the advocate of  the infinite possibility of life and of the human being. He always believed in adventure being an adventurer himself. 
Life is the ultimate adventure. The destination is the journey. 

Osho
Page of Rainbows: Adventure
When we are truly in a spirit of adventure, we are moving just like this child. Full of trust, out of the darkness of the forest into the rainbow of the light, we go step by step, drawn by our sense of wonder into the unknown. Adventure really has nothing to do with plans and maps and programs and organization.
The Page of Rainbows represents a quality that can come to us anywhere--at home or in the office, in the wilderness or in the city, in a creative project or in our relationships with others. Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventures.

Have fun, darling

Partnership has ended on a good note

The partnership ended on a common accord. Im too much ahead to start with someone new. We were on the same vibes but our aesthetic is not the same. So everything stays the same. The pink sheep remains solo. No black. Anyone who's affected in his manhood by the pink sheep Im sorry. The font stays the same. Although some changes I keep. The french version of about us, the Montreal charities, Sun Youth and old Brewery and the price at 25$. We exchanged very well for 2 weeks. It was good for me to have another point of view and I went along with it for a while. But I have to stay true to me. Because the concept comes from me. And Jamie, my web designer, God bless him whos also a genius, and I we worked on every detail together. It's my eternal insecurity. For a while I didn't trust myself because I'm a woman and I thought the point view of a man was predominant. What can I do years of brainwashing. Nonetheless it was worthwhile. We learn from everything if we listen well. So first production when I come back from Florida. No rush. 
Dissident for 2015: Nemtsov

The assassination of Boris Nemtsov, a Russian statesman and politician opposed to the government of Vladimir Putin, happened in central Moscow on Bolshoy Moskvoretsky Bridge at 23:31 local time on 27 February 2015.^[4] An unknown assailant fired seven or eight shots; four of them hit Nemtsov in the head, heart, liver and stomach, killing him almost instantly. He died hours after appealing to the public to support a march against Russia's war in Ukraine.^[5]