Ubuntu: I am because we are

I wanted to address the culture of the emptiness as we seem to be drowning recently lower and lower. How somebody like Kim Kardashian as nice as she may be, could attract such following is a mystery to me. I don't get it. I call it "la culture du vide" it doesn't translate so well in english. I'm a very eclectic person. I like all sort of movies, actions or repertoire, i like all sort of music, house in my base but also french singer, classical, but i can't see a human being in the way as a mass product. The marketing of somebody own being is something i don't get.To sell it's own intimacy for money or fame ?! like in those reality show is a very weird concept for me. Sophistication and elegance are not fashionable anymore, vulgarity is in. It's strange i find that the new generation of porn actors are becoming more educated and refined if I think of Sasha Grey and Stoya for instance but the new generation of famous people is becoming more common and trashy. The natural is gone. Botox, plastic surgery, photoshop are in. People live like their life is happening on pictures and not in real life. Virtual reality is becoming global. Authencity is gone and fakeness is the new fave. The culture of the mass is becoming global. A young man almost killed himself in the search of the perfect selfie how fucked up is that ? It's the dictatorship of the image, la dictature de l'image. To live exposed. I couldn't live like that. My privacy is something very precious to me, being able to live incognito is priceless. Par eux mais sans eux. Because of them but without them. I wish to draw attention not with my exterior self but with my soul. Not with what I have but with who I am. Quietly. 
That's why I like to put more than me on my Members of the Tribe page. I don't want it to be about me but others too. 
I read today on a post:
Ubuntu: it's a word in the Xhosa culture (african tribe) that means:
I am because we are. So beautiful

First styles up !

We began with the love serie what else. All coming either black or white.

Here's to the crazy ones

I

I rejected the fault of my mal de vivre for a long time on my parents. They were the one who put me on earth so I'm there responsability. I didn't ask to be here and I don't know what I'm suppose to do with my time on this planet. Je vais dans la vie comme une pute sans trottoir. I go in life like a whore without a sidewalk. Was the general idea. I remember once I bumped into a friend of mine. I was 

wearing a mariniere those blue and white stripes sweater typical of the French . When the friend asked me how I was doing I answered: I'm drifting showing my sailor tshirt. He looked at me and said: since I know you you've always been drifting. 

'Important ce n'est pas la chute c'est l'atterissage. The importance is not the fall it's the landing. 

You have to find where you belong within yourself. So close yet so far. 

The music was my soul companion some  few people I recognized like my own, that I use to refer as the members of the tribe and all kinds of artificial paradise which kept me alive. 

The artificial paradise are gone but the music and friends are still there. And Members of the Tribe is taking it's first step in the world. It takes one person to create a movement the love movement. So here's to the crazy ones ! 

Meaning of life

I passed most of my life feeling disconnected from the world around me. I was the main character of my movie and the people around were extras with very few exceptions. I wished that somehow we could start again from scratch. I dreamed of chaos and explosions and destructions, the only way in my head for a new beginning. Natural born killers was my cult movie along with clockwork orange... I had no respect for the world I was living in. When people asked me what I was doing for a living I use to answer: I live it keeps me busy. Or how old I was: I'm centuries old. I felt like an old soul watching the same movie for the thousand times, bored watching it. I was passing time dancing, listening to music or 

Waking up when it was dark: wake up its dark outside! Living in reverse mode. Not giving a fuck about anything, reputation was at the bottom of my list. Par eux mais sans Eux. Living through them but without them. I often asked myself why am I here ? What am I suppose to do with this life I never asked for...

I read that life begins at 40 up to then we are just doing research. In Judaism we say that maturity begins at 40 and I agree. I just figure out now what I really want to do with the life that's been offered to me. I want to have a positive impact and to be part of the construction of a better world and help in a pacifist way the destruction of the old system.

Like a say: I come with pure intentions. 

I'm not angry anymore I'm at peace for the first time in my life. 

Music

Members of the Tribe is obsess with house music. Why is that ?

Don't know. All I can say is that house speaks to my soul in an unexplainable way. I remember when I use to dance all night 14 hours a night all week I was reaching for god in the dance floor it was him who was talking to me through the dj through the music and I was responding with my body. La quête de l'absolu. Sometimes I almost felt like I was creating the music. The music was coming out from me in total synchronicity. I loved hearing the bass so strong that you could feel it in your bones in your blood in your heart beating with the beat of house. 

Not a lot of people understands house music it's a spiritual thing. 

My arms raised to the sky, my fingers in the shape of v for victory saying to the dj I hear you I'm with you. Mental connection through music, the dj playing, me dancing like my life depended on it. 

The enjoyment of total freedom. 

Shut up I'm dancing. 

pettiness

I always hated people who think little, act little, the pettiness of their life and mind. People who lust in mediocrity, who actually enjoys their shit and most of all the shit of others. The envious, the jealous, the fakes. People whose own lives are so mediocre that they live through the lives of others by pushing it down to feel superior. 
"The dirty little miserable details that build people's life. The dirty little miserable details that build their miserable existence. So happy to get confused with the ground. They stay there happily and self-satisfied. And they spit their insignificance on others for everyone to be as pitiful as them."*
I have no patience for those and no pity. Some I can tell right away, I don't even pay attention, some abuse my kindness and my good nature for a while until there is no other choice for me but to leave them behind. 

* exert from a book in progress Mémoire d'une jeune fille dérangée.

Balance or equilibrium

Sometimes when i've been really good and disciplined for a while, i have to hold myself with all my will not to let it go all at once. Control I'm slowly learning about control. I never had control before. I was flattering myself to have none. No control no limits but my own. Don't do what I wouldn't do, that said it all. Total freedom. Up up up in the sky. That's where i liked to be. If they thought i would come down for them they were deeply mistaken. Accrochée aux étoiles. 

But now thime changed. I have my mind on earth and for the first time in my life i can truly say i feel at home. The idea is to arrive at a point of balance where im standing at the Edgar but im not falling. Equilibrium