Dissidence

I seem to go from beginning to beginning. A little higher every time. Readjustment. I'm working on anger. Difficult task. But I'm becoming aware of it. Not easy to restrain from anger. I can't react to anger with anger. I am not a monkey. I have to take a moment and hold back. It's a time of forced readjustment. The idea is to accept. To accept forced readjustment as a new beginning. a blessing to do better. But I see it now all the changes that needed to be done. I can't pretend they don't exist anymore. I am so far away still. We live in a weird time. A time where sleeping around became the norm even as a couple, as long as they don't know it doesn't hurt, kind of philosophy. The only thing, we know. We can't hide from ourselves. 
When man ate the fruit from the forbidden tree. And Adam and Eve were hiding. God asked Adam: where are you? 
We have all sorts of excuses to make it sound completely natural and logic, aren't we animals, isn't it a natural need, sex is free, everybody does it. We lost the reason why sex exists because we are lost in the I and we forgot the We. There is no intimacy, everything is overexposed. I use to think they touch my body but they won't touch my soul. Disenchantment. Lost of innocence. We don't aim higher but lower. We think it is liberation but it is exactly the opposite. It's enslavement. And the cynical call the other naive, living in fairytales. But what is real is what we create. It all depends in which dimension we want to live in. Do we want to live slightly above the ground or do we want to elevate the mundane.
That is the ultimate question. 
We have to be our own person. We can't follow the crowd blindly. We have to start to think with our own mind and feel with our soul. And live accordingly.
Be a dissident

. The lost of innocence.