Happy is the new black

Sometimes I feel like everybody knows what they're doing while I don't have a clue. I'm connected but from the tip of my toes. Hardly. I'm doing my best. Something I missed. Somewhere, somehow. The unbearable lightness of being. L'insoutenable légèreté de l'être. The difficulty of being alive of having to live and not only to live but to be happy and successful and in love and beautiful and intelligent. The pressure of having to be on top. I read that what screw us in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be. Focus and let go of the false expectations. We create our own prison. Hell is our sole creation. We have to liberate ourselves of how it is suppose to be, those preconceptions that stop us from living and to be proud of who we are whatever that is. We have to embrace our sadness like we embrace happiness. It is normal to be down once in while, to be discourage, life is not a calm river, it is a trip, a strange but also beautiful trip. And after all it is not the destination that matters but the journey. When I was younger i never gave a fuck about reputation, about other people opinion. I lived my life like a giant, with seven league boots at my feet. I was an ogress, a monster, nothing mattered. It was: you love me you hate me I couldn't care less. I was going my own way. Sometimes I cried, I accepted it. It was just time to cry. I read not long ago that I have to learn to speak the language of the caterpillar because not everyone went through my transformation. The only thing I don't know if I want to. Caterpillar never interested me. I can't be bothered. To trust ourselves is a difficult thing to do, when you're going the opposite way as everyone else. We have moments of doubt, I have moments of doubt. But then again I couldn't do it otherwise. I can't go against my nature.  

Once you open your eyes you can't close it again. 

And like my daughter posted: Only the dead fish go with the stream....

Music

I don't know what music does to the cells of my brain but it's essential to my well being when I have music on my ears and I cut myself off from my surroundings I feel instantly more connected to the world as a whole. My worries disappear I breathe I let go of the tensions. Music is vital to my well being.  

Music is my drug can't live without it. 

The audacity of imperfection

About beauty. It's a touchy subject. I myself is neither beautiful or ugly but both at the same time. I hate myself on pictures. It never stop me to have the men or the boys I wanted but then again when you think that some men would fuck a cow it puts everything else under a different light. I never put to much importance in beauty myself Im not vain first of all.I'm always amazed at the number of pretty girls. Beauty is much more common than we think. I like to think that charm class and intelligence are more rare. I guess it has to be a blend of a certain way of being beautiful, lovely elegant and witty as an effortless attitude.  My grand mother always said that what matters is not beauty but the confidence of being beautiful.The individuality. The personality. Maybe I wish of being more photogenic. But at my age it is more and more difficult. Somehow pictures dont have pity. There is a book of Milan Kundera where the heroin says that there is a moment in her life where she realizes that what is in the mirror will be herself whether it corresponds to the idea that she had of herself. We are born the way we are either we accept it or we go through plastic surgery. I wonder if I had more money if I would have changed anything on me. My chin my nose my lips my wrinkles. I cam't answer that but I don't think I would have changed anything. Maybe my ego is to strong. I have the audacity to like myself the way I am. It serves me well until now. I don't know why it would change. I know i don't correspond to the image of stereotype beauty but I couldn't care less. It made me the way I am. And I have to admit I like who I am. My imperfect self. 

The truth has no path

I want to make something clear, we all come with a certain background, cultural, religious, race, gender etc. And although i won't hide the fact that I'm a woman, I won't hide the fact that I'm jewish but also part Palestinian, French and Scottish. As it is often said Jesus was jewish. Did it stop him to speak an universal language. I doubt it. I take my jewish identity as a rich heritage full of very deep teaching and truth. You shall not do to others what you don't want them to do to you, is its primary lesson. I wanna feel free to talk about certain concept of judaism that I find interesting because that's where I come from, not as I mean to convert anyone or to change anyone beliefs. God forbid. 

Freedom of thought I think is another fundamental rule of mine. 

I always welcome everyone wherever they came from as long as they were genuine souls.

I like to keep my mind open. I learn from everything and everybody. Good and bad.

Maybe I'll read the Coran and learn more about Islam. 

The truth has no path. Meaning there's an infinity of roads that leads to the truth. Take anyone you like. I'm not there to ask you to take mine. 

Keep the spirit. 

Peace and love

to repair the world

What's up. It's been a while. Members of the Tribe has its first order. Quite excited. First collaboration with a record company. Can't wait to have our website on. Waiting for it impatiently. 253 members the movement is growing slowly, little bit more every week. I like it that way. Time to get accustomed to the beat, the rythme. I have the most amazing partner, couldn't have dream of being on that adventure with a better one. Thank God for you Rick ! After 10 years gestation, I finally gave birth to a new entity. At the passover dinner yesterday, we talked about the jewish concept of being on earth to repair the world and Members of the Tribe falls into that idea completely. To heal the world with a love and peace movement. Movement for a better world that includes everyone who is wishing to go forward. Quiet disturbance is the best disturbance. I always said I come with peaceful intentions, with positive intentions. I want to bring people up and not to push them down. I have no interests in that. I'm a lover by nature. don't know how to hate or why to hate. Members of the Tribe is my contribution to a better world by spreading positive vibes and awakening. Once you open your eyes you can't close them again. Once you move forward you cant turn back. Once you see the light you can go to darkness. Slowly but surely. The t-shirts will be my voice, my medium, my messenger. My way.

Follow the light

I often felt also that I was sent to the wrong planet and one day god willing they'll notice their mistake and take me back home. Hello I'm here ! As a joke but truly half joking 

What the fuck am I doing here who are those 2 dimensional beige people when I'm in 4 technicolor dimensions 

Wishing for a new beginning time for a major clean up

I feel that this time 2014 is a time of change we have starting the cleaning people like us around the world. More and more conscious of the earth themselves. Cleaning up their soul their heart their body and their mind. I told my daughters you're lucky because you live in a time of transformation between the old and the new. Internet social media changed everything because people who couldn't connect before are able to connect now. Distance doesn't exist anymore. I have 26 different countries on mbers of the tribe ! Without leaving Montreal ! It's a time of awakening. Like Columbus said we left the old world following the light. That's what well do living the old world following our light. 

from now to now.

So far so good. Are you afraid sometimes when things go well of the moment when it won't. I have to stop myself often to bring myself back in the moment. I don't care so much about the past. The good thing about the past its that it is the back but I'm scared of the future. I'm afraid that what is now won't be anymore. I should tell myself that I've been through so much and I'm still here living and kicking ass, that there is no reason. It would be good though if things would calm down and get easier. I live by the grace of God. I must have an amazing guardian angel. I've been through hell and back. The path of paradise begins in hell. From chaos is born harmony. All that to say that I feel very good. I got rid of the toxicity and since then all sorts of good things happen to me.  I'm setting up my limits. I'm standing up for myself. Yoga was the cure. I stopped smoking entirely. I became vegetarian. I feel at peace a feeling i never had even as a child. Spreading my wings. It's all good. Thank god for now. Moment to moment, from now to now.

Express yourself

Express yourself 

Osho Zen Tarot

King of Fire: The Creator

The Zen master in this card has harnessed the energy of fire and is able to use it for creation rather than destruction. He invites us to recognize and participate with him in the understanding that belongs to those who have mastered the fires of passion, without repressing them or allowing them to get destructive and out of balance. He is so integrated that there is no longer any difference between who he is inside and who he is in the world outside. He offers this gift of understanding and integration to all those who come to him, the gift of creative light that comes from the center of his being.

The King of Fire tells us that anything that we undertake now, with the understanding that comes from maturity, will bring enrichment to our own lives and to the lives of others. Using whatever skills you have, whatever you have learned from your own life experience, it is time to express yourself.