man, that's all. If they can deal with me it's not meant to be. I'm thinking if I won't meet him in this life it's gonna be in my other life. It won't stop me. It's not that I search but it's what I seek, it's what I want. It's my nature. I always have to go deep or high. I don't know how to live but with my heart and soul. It's who I am. I give it all that I've got every time. Before I use to say you'll have my body not my soul. Now I say I'll give my body and my soul otherwise I'm not interested. That's the way it goes. I feel strong enough to do it. I'm more and more emotionally independent. I wonder sometimes if It's a good thing or if it's a not a sad thing. I guess it's a good thing. It is not a question of ego. In contrary the less I live through my ego the stronger I feel. Maybe th
e soulmate It's just a dream but I rather have that dream than not. I guess it's a the same idea with God, I rather believe in God than not. Actually those beliefs are not by choices. I always felt God next to me holding my hands even in my darker hours. For me
believing in God and in believing in a soulmate comes from the same roots. I always felt I was God messenger, fallen angel, sent on earth by mistake against my will waiting for someone to take me back where I belong. Disconnected. I guess the deeper I go the higher I fly the more isolated I be, the less inhabitants. I use to say we're not from the same specie, we don't talk the same language. I learned to live with that. It use to make me very angry the mediocrity of humanity. I just ignore it now. I do my things. I learned to navigate through existence, be different and be calm. I just wire myself on music, on kabbalah, on yoga, surrounds myself with people I like and who likes me and move forward one step at the time. So soulmate hopefully in this life if not it's fine also. It won't stop me to believe, in my stop me to continue on my path.
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