Anecdote

At 10 years old, I was taken in the streets from the streets by a 40 years old man for a whole afternoon. He molested me, it was my first cunnilingus, for those who know what it means, but didn't rape me. After he took me almost back (yes I know weird, but thank God he did) and I made it alive, he asked me to kiss him and not to tell anyone. I ran home and asked God to forgive him because I thought that Jesus suffered more on the cross than me. Say What ?
Didn't know I was Jewish at the time. Went to College Jesus-Marie de Sillery a good only girls private school of Quebec. I spent 11 years there. I found out I was Jewish at 36 years old. Found out or made sense at the death of my jewish maternal grand-mother. My maternal grand-father was Palestinian from Haifa. Explosive mix. 
So I have jewish palestinian, From Bratislava and Haifa, feminine masculine, Marie and Pierre, french and english, Marie and Warren, being French but from Scottish ancestors, all sorts of opposites in my blood. It doesn't mean anything just funny. In Kabbalah exists the freedom of choices in everything. It's at the base of the creation of man. We are the master of our destiny. We decide. That's part of why God had to conceal itself to give man total freedom of choices. It is said also that the world began with the will of God for the world. And will is not part of anything, it exists by itself. I was always a strong person. Even at the small age of 10. I wonder sometimes if my voice didn't get stuck at that age. I have a little girl voice. How much was the impact of that event in my life. Did it affect my choice of men...will never know. Why did it happened? I don't know. I was always pretty wise alert and observer. What I know is that from that point I didn't want to be an adult. I prayed to be a boy for a year not to have breasts and menstruation. Didn't work. I thought the boys were so much cooler than the winy girls. Did it affect my sexuality, I don't know. I took sexuality from the beginning very naturally. My first lover wasn't my boyfriend. He said that my first time would be at level zero, after that it would either better or worse. He also use to say that the catholic church was the only multinational who had a corpse as a logo. Always loved that one. I remember it till that day.  In my twenties I use to say: I live like a whore without a sidewalk not that I was identifying with the whore but with the image. I was a rebel at heart. Wild and free. A bulldozer, a soul searcher, a dream warrior. I did it by being guided by the music I liked. I associated with people who liked the same music as me. Always electro, cold wave and than electro, acid house, house and today mainly deep house. So that's about it. Now is today. I have two girls, I'm happily divorced. And I want to kick ass. 
So spread the vibe, Represent peace and love always