The more I know the more I know nothing

 Whenever I realized I arrived somewhere it was just to realize it was the beginning of something else. Life is an eternal beginning. There<s no destination, the journey is the destination. You open a door only to see the immensity of the unknown. The more I know the more I know nothing. There's always something more to learn, something more to correct. It is difficult sometimes to distinguish the wrong from the bad in a time where everything and anything is permitted, in a time where we have the total freedom to do what we want whatever that is. We have access to drugs to sex, instant pleasure, instant gratification. We lost our references in the name of liberty. But that's how it had to be. Free will had to come with the freedom of choice. We couldn't be the master of our life if we didn't have the freedom to live our life the way we wanted to. I'm beginning to understand the concept of freedom within a structure of limitations. I'm only beginning to settling in. It began few months ago. I got rid of certain things, addictions, pulling me down. There was this feeling of peace and calm. The closer I got to my inner self, to my values, to my essence, the more I felt serenity. So first there was the feeling of peacefulness. Now there's a feeling of reason. To do the right thing. I was always wild, lost in time and space, now I'm becoming grounded. The closer I elevate myself the more I feel centered. I have been watching a lot of kabbalah videos by rabbi Simon Jacobson lately. He talked about the energy and the container, the 4 worlds emanating from God: the emanation, the creation: world of the souls, the formation: world of the angels and the action: world of the men. Explaining the more material a world is, the more distant from God it is. We are distant but we have this aspiration in us that pulls us toward him because he wishes that we knew that he exists. He created an interface between him and us, a connection. The great kabbalists could go so high with their own minds, they blow mine away. Higher than I will ever go. They went high but with their feet on the ground. It's strange because I always felt that there's was an error, that I was sent on earth by mistake, that they would realize their mistake and take me back. A fallen angel trying to find it's way back to paradise... I had the intuition of it but not the understanding. A lost soul. I always felt I wanted to elevate my daily life. I always wanted more than what was observable by the eye. i wanted true beauty. I was looking for the soul, a soul searcher, a dream warrior. I realize now that my aspiration were right but not my ways. I started to pray recently not knowing how to pray. I learned that I have to pray for others not myself and It all made sense. I'l go the mikvah the ritual bath for Yom Kippour, the day of atonement. It's the time of purification, it's a new beginning just when I thought i had arrived... 

march the power of the soul

March has started on a good note. It's milder outside and we're able to walk without rushing to get in again, we can breath ! I let go of more negative elements in my life. Didn't realize it was holding me back or pushing me down until I let it go. in that perspective, I decided that the word for the month of march will be: Soul. I've been watching a lot of videos on youtube on that subject and it made me conscious even more of the importance of reaching for the soul, reaching inward instead of outward. The importance of surrounding of ourselves with people in touch with their inner being, staying away from people with empty soul or soul so well guarded that it is impossible to touch it as much love you're going to give them. The importance of reaching for the being and not the showing, in a world where the glorification of the body never been so powerful and generalized to go against the stream and be a rebel, a soul searcher. Sadly it is easier to uncover the body than our soul. By uncovering the soul we make ourselves vulnerable and at risk of being hurt. Only the strong can take that chance. Only the truthful. 
It is said that there is a specific soul for each specific body or container. The soul is the source and the body its instrument. And not vice and versa. The soul is not at the service of the body in the same idea that the artist is not at the service of the paintbrush. It is when the body over power the soul that we have war decadence dominance etc...
It is said that the ones with exalted souls go so high that instead of reaching outward they go so deep that they separate themselves from their surrounding. Do you get that feeling sometimes so joyful so high so deep just so far far away flying surfing on the positive vibes of your soul ? because i do :) 
Of course I'm not saying that we have to forget the body. But we need a healthy soul to have a healthy body, we need a healthy soul to be able to love and to reach to the others We need to open our soul if we want to live meaningful life and not a life only pointed to ourselves, an egoistic life is a dead life. We need to nourish the soul the same way we nourish our body. And the body and the mind need to be at the service of our soul. Let your soul lead the way, quiet the mind and let yourself surf on its good vibes.   

2015: welcome to paradise

What i learned in 2014: I learned to trust life but above all to trust myself. I learned to be at peace, to go with the flow, to place myself right in the middle not above not below, to do the right thing, to stop smoking weed (I know I'm against the stream). I learned to be happy alone. Like Jean-Paul Sartre said: if you feel lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. I learned not to rush, not to force, because one door that close hide another one wide opened. I learned that something good can be bad and something bad can be good. Because we don't see the big picture, we see it only looking backward never forward. I learned to get rid of old habits, i learned to get out of my comfort zone, I learned to climb up instead of sliding down. 
I learned to be in harmony with what I believe in, what I stand for, action and thoughts. I can say I came back home within me. And it feels good.
I guess for 2015, I'm wishing to continue in that path. To breathe, to stay in the moment, in the now. Going from there to another now. Thinking that the good thing about the past is that it's in the past and the future is not ours to see. All we can live is the present. To be in the moment. To stop worrying about what's been or what will be but to enjoy that moment that will never come again. 
It's all good because everything is happening exactly as it should. And with that peace, I'll be able to radiate even more, and with the good vibes I'll be spreading, to create magic, and with that magic, my paradise.
Welcome to paradise.

The purpose of life is to create magic and by doing so our paradise

The purpose of life is to live our life true but I'll add the purpose of life is to spread good vibes and by spreading good vibes to create magic and with magic our paradise.
Magic will be the word of January and the honorary members will be Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Richard Branson for the involvement in the Giving Pledge foundation.

Buffett is now the world's most generous man. Go big or go home seems to be Warren Buffett's mantra when it comes to philanthropy.

Buffett’s generosity and leadership has been instrumental in convincing a total of 122 billionaires, with a net worth of more than $600 billion, to join the Giving Pledge since he and Bill Gates launched that initiative in 2010. 

Microsoft MSFT +0.84% cofounder Bill Gates has given away more than $28 billion, comfortably making him the world’s greatest living philanthropist

People need to lead a healthy life to be able to work, develop a family, study and develop a business,” says Polverini. “But once they are able to have that life, they need financial services to help the, build on that life. That’s why the FSP strategy touches upon all the other strategies of the foundation from agriculture to health and education. Having the ability to access to financial services connects people to all the other things that are necessary in our lives.”

The Virgin Media boss and his wife Joan, have joined Microsoft founder Bill Gates - said to be worth over $62 billion - and U.S. investor Warren Buffet, who trails in with $55 billion, as part of the Giving Pledge.
Like Richard Branson says: "It's not stuff that makes us happy, Family, friends, good health and the satisfaction that comes from making a positive difference are what really matters".

“As and when we take monies out of the Virgin Group of companies the majority of it will be invested in entrepreneurial approaches to help make a difference in the world.”

Acceptance

Acceptance. To accept one self to accept the others in their differences. I realize that I'm judgemental and snob. Like Anais Nin said we don't see things how they are but how we are. It's not because we don't understand something that It must be wrong and even so, if it is wrong, everybody is entitled to their won experiences. Who am I to be the judge and decide how things should be. And If the persons are happy how can I look down on their happiness. How can I take the right to critic their happiness, who they should love, how they should love etc. how they should live. Acceptance. It's not enough to say it but we have to put into place. Not easy. I thought somehow that I had the right to judge certain people, who never did anything to me, on their lack of education, their looks, how they loved, how they lived. But I realize that everything is needed. The good and the bad. The beautiful and the ugly, the stupid and the intelligent, the old and the young. And It's not because, I'm climbing up that I can look down on people who remain on the ground. That's a big mistake. Vanity and Ego. In contrary the more I move forward the more I should be able to embrace it all. Embrace the fact that not everybody is attracted to the same things as me, not everybody lives their relation the same way as me, and not everybody lives their life like me. And I think the more I'll put that thought in practice the more love will come to me, the more open I'll will be, the more positive energy I'll be sending and sharing. 
Acceptance

Peace comes from within

All is necessary. 

I wanna write about topics I wrote about before: balance , connecting the dots and on the fact that everything is necessary. 

I spent most of my younger years being an extremist person. I was only happy in excess. Excess of sex, excess of drugs, excess of partying, dancing. I was only happy when I was on the verge of death, living my life at extra speed. I was ultra hyper, always stoned from morning to night and from night to morning. I claimed myself to be a black hole. I could take as much drugs as I wanted, mixing whatever came by, LSD at first than extasy, coke, GHB, weed, heroin whatever. I told a friend that I when I took drugs I wanted to feel like I got hit by a train. I was a poly toxicomane but I never liked alcohol maybe that's what saved me. I didn't like to lose my inhibitions. I liked to be in control. Completely stoned but totally in control. I had many lovers to pass time. Some stayed in my memory, most I forgot. They were touching my skin not my soul. Like grain of sands in my hands. Those were extreme times, wild times, push to the limits. I thought I lived in technicolor and everybody else was in black and grey, beige even. I was the real thing, not a wannabe, couldn't care less about the fashion, the in. I was not a follower. Very few people made me want to come back on earth. I wanted to stay up in the sky, among the stars. The world as it was didn't interest me, the humans in it didn't interest me. They were happy on the ground in their mediocrity not asking more than what was offered to them. I dreamt of a big clean up, explosions and bombs. Starting new, my cult movie was Natural born killers. I envy the liberty of Mickey and Mallory to kill anyone who annoyed them. Sometimes on the dance floor I pretended to kill the boys who wanted to dance with me. Making them disappear with my indifference. Living by them but without them. Living by their desire on me, nourishing myself from it and because of it being able to live without even looking at them. Playing the indifference. When the superficial is so natural that you forget that it is made up. La coquette. 
But in all these years, I always followed my heart. My nature. It was who I was. What you see is what you get. I wasn't pretending to be somebody I wasn't. I could never pretend.
These times are long time gone. I'm back on earth and happy to be on it. I don't take drugs anymore. I even stopped smoking weed recently. I feel so much better, my mind so much clearer. I reached that point. Finally. I came a long way. I worked on myself everyday to get there. Introspection, review, critics. I'm not saying that I have arrived but my vibes changed. I feel calm. I would have never thought I would feel calm one day. I was more intense than calm. I was like a lion in a cage, like a tornado, a monster, calm was not part of who I was. And now I can say I feel calm, at peace, good in my head, good in my mind, good in my body. I'm not saying either that I won't be making anymore mistakes for sure I will, I'm far away from perfect. But I feel at peace. I can stay home, not talking to anyone, listening to music and I feel fine. 
I feel I can let myself flow on the flow of life. Trusting and peaceful. 
I realize now that everything was necessary. It was a long and difficult road but I never gave up. I always walked forward, toward the light. Everything prepares us to what's to come. Because of what I have lived I'm ready to live what I'm experiencing now. Confidently and peacefully. I reached a certain balance, a certain middle ground. I'll repeat what Steve Jobs said: he said that we can only connect the dots going backward never forward. I reached another level. Let's see where it takes me. I have my mind, my heart and my soul wide open.  At peace at last. 

#Love

The word for the month of december will be love and the honorary member of the month will be Madonna because of her social involvement with "art for revolution", her schools in Malawi and because of what she represents as a strong, confident and fuck you kind of woman and mother.

What is love. I don't know. 
Can I say that I was truly in love in the past, I don't know either. 
Was I in love, with the idea of love, maybe. How do we know when we're truly in love. Is jealousy part of love, possession, being in need. I don't think so. I think love is about chemistry: being on the same vibes, surfing the same wave. I think we can't experience love unless we find our true nature and unless we're at peace with ourselves. For me, love can only exist when we're able to let go of the ego so the relation is not a combat between 2 powers but two souls embracing each other. Love is about not to be scared to give in. Love is about trust. Love is about opening ourselves and willingly putting ourselves in a vulnerable position because love is about abandon. 
There's of course universal love. Love towards humanity, towards our fellowman. After all, love is about spreading the good vibes, spreading good energy, being nice, doing good. Love transcends colour, race, sexual orientation, gender and religion. 
Ultimately, love is the most sacred and beautiful of all human emotions. Love is the most powerful of all the human vibrations. And i believe that love will always win in the end. 

Love